THE IMPORTANCE OF EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE:

More awareness for our emotional intelligence (EQ); is super important for a tolerant society!

What are some characteristics for people with a high EQ:
Self-knowledge, empathy, being able to express themselves emotionally (transparency), flexibility (while maintaining healthy boundaries), great social awareness, masters in letting go of past mistakes and meeting their personal boundaries.
Past mistakes are remembered and in future similar situations; a different approach is chosen.
In my opinion, our society benefits greatly from many highly emotional intelligent people; and I would like to explain this to pregnant parents. Because they are present at the very beginning of a new life and therefor can make a lot of influence.
Most of my advises  will make a lot of sense to most people. Most parents may think this is the job of schools and a school that is very focused on this will certainly help; but the closest surroundings of a child still plays the biggest role.

The first five years of life are the most important for a good, stable, emotional basis.
I do not want to say that all responsibility for this should be placed with parents. The statement: "it takes a village to raise a child"; contains much wisdom.
The family as the highest importance of society; which historically, has only existed for a century or so; doesn't really serve our EQ.

What do children need in order to develop well emotionally:

• A sense of security and a "feeling of being really welcome" in their parents life (validation of their existence) from conception to first months after birth. The first real year of a baby's life.
• Validating needs and feelings. This applies to all ages, but especially in the first five years of life, the foundation is laid for trust in others and self-confidence. That emotions are allowed to be and be comforted is very important; even anger. Tears after a fall are easier to comfort than a tantrum. Especially since many new parents have been taught to keep anger inside. Punishment because a toddler cannot yet control this anger or frustration; does not contribute to learning how to handle this unfortunately. Prefer not to comfort a child out of a feeling of pity. A child still has a small body (especially a baby) and therefore intense emotions are more difficult to bear. The child's body will be enlarged, connecting with a lovingly larger body; and a child thereby feels a relief in the still present feelings. Carrying emotions together; teaches a child to learn to bear and contain emotions and feelings. It learns that it is part of a human life; which is an important lesson. It is also necessary to confirm needs; although one does not have to meet all needs immediately. Understanding this need and explain why this can't be met (yet) is a bridge to the next condition:
• Healthy boundaries and rules. This with a clear explanation why. From my perspective it would help a lot if everything is explained to babies and children. They feel non-verbal cues better than adults and an explanation prevents confusion and a negative self-image.
• Authentic adults in their immediate environment. Artificial compliments and not sincere statements gives a child an "not seen and heard feeling".

There will certainly be more factors, but for me these are the main basic aspects. My passion is to teach parents to connect to their unborn baby in a loving, caring way ; in order to start a trust-based relationship. 

For more information about this, feel free to visit my website https://masteringwombwisdomjouwweb.nl with the page: Essence

I believe that these aspects increase the personal growth and development for ourselves and our children. It sounds like a cliché; but for a tolerant society, everyone needs to be aware of these basic conditions. Not only for our children, but also for adults among ourselves. If you still want to understand more about this; emotional-body therapy or psychotherapy is definitely recommended. Spiritual growth is also an option, but be aware for spiritual bypass. Because it will be necessary to do shadow work from the past; to gain good insights and increase your self-knowledge. Starting this individual process before parenthood is definitely recommended.

Thank you for reading this blog.

Feedback is always welcome !! ( English is not my first language so be kind)

Marlene Gerrits for MasteringWombWisdom

Dutch midwife, living in Portugal